Jojo’s Mojo: Week 1 Recap

Come with us on this journey, Bachelor Nation. Let’s follow Jojo’s sweet little behind around and see where it leads us, shall we? First off – we start with a montage of Ben telling Jojo he won’t blindside her… and then totally blindsiding her. Man, we forgot how much of a momma’s boy this guy…

Juan Pablo: The Juan we hate most

As we count down to the premier of beautiful Jojo as the Bachelorette on Monday… I would like to acknowledge someone I despise. I know.. doesn’t seem like it coincides right? Well, I hear a spoiler that there will be an appearance of my second least favorite ever, Jake  Pavelka. Who is a total dick…

Chris Harrison: The Man, the Myth, the Legend

I just want to take a moment to recognize the beauty and majesty of the man, the myth, the legend…. Mr. Chris Harrison. He’s been hosting The Bachelor since 2002 and he’s become like a brother to all of us in the Bachelor Nation. I mean, like a strangely hot brother that’s not blood related…….

Wine, Bachelor, & Yoga Pants. Obviously.

May 23rd is coming up quickly! I’m so ready for Jojo, aren’t you? Seriously, guys. Only 11 days. I’m so excited I could pee. Too much? TMI? Sorry. But seriously I’m so excited. EEEk. One of the best parts of watching bachelor anything is vegging out on the couch or throwing a weekly viewing party…

Bachelor Ben: Finale

I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT. Ok, now that I’ve gotten that out of the way… Chris Harrison introduces us to “the most dramatic finale ever” for the 20th straight season. And then we see he’s flown in Ben’s pastor and the families of both Lauren & Jojo – except for Jojo’s…

Bachelor Ben: Week 9 Recap

Jamaica!! YAY! SANDALS!? MEH. Could you have picked a whiter way to do Jamaica, ABC? It’s time for overnight dates, ya’ll. To be slutty or not to be slutty. Now, that is the real question. But not really bc they all say yes. Because Fantasy Suite, duh. Overnight with Caila. They float down the river…

Bachelor Ben: Week 8 Recap

Holy hometowns, batman. This was nothing less than a clusterf–k. We start with Amanda in Laguna Beach. Kudos to the producer that managed to convince Amanda, who has never introduced a man to her kids, to start now…with Ben…a million cameras and strange crew members. I’m sure that won’t terrify your poor children. How do…

Bachelor Ben: Week 7 Recap

Warsaw, Indiana. Sigh. We’ve seen worse *cough cough Chris Soules* The girls all throw themselves in to piles of leaves and yell “yippee!” so we can all see how super genuinely stoked they are to be there. Anddddd scene. Ben must be like a lost chihuhua all wet and shaky when he gets too far…

Bachelor Ben: Week 6 Recap

Ben asks Olivia why everyone hates her. Olivia: “come at me, bro”. What a keeper. BAHAMAS! Finally some paradise. JK – it looks like they saved some money picking the week with the worst possible weather. It’s all hurricanes and wind for this romantic beach trip. I bet the hotel was half priced because the…

Bachelor Ben: Week 5 Recap

VIVA LA MEXICO – says everyone multiple times as they show us the extent of their high school Spanish. Insert hard core advert for the Four Seasons and it’s beautiful bidets. Amanda’s 1×1 “let’s put all our eggs in one basket” – Ben. So either he’s going to fertilize her eggs or take her on…