Bachelor in paradise week 4: I love lamp?

Ashley is the best part of any show that’s ever been televised. This girl deserves a Olympic medal for her persistence. New sport – triathlon of tears. She can be the Usain Bolt of Bachelor in Paradise. Jared: “I never want to be with you” Ashley: “Like EVER EVER or like maybe sometime never but…

Bachelor in paradise week 3: erectile dysfunctional love

Obviously the suspense was killing us all week waiting to see if Amanda can surgically remove her tongue from Josh’s mouth and fall head over heels for ‘ED Evan’ (erectile dysfunction Evan, if you will). He takes her to a tree house and tells her he wants to see if they have a real connection….

Bachelor in Paradise week 2 : poor Carly

So Chad has left us, AGAIN. Suddenly Lace is far less interesting except for the fact that her eye lash extensions have gone rogue. Lace at the hairdresser: “I’m thinking ‘ratchet’ but like also classy” Hairdresser: “I got this. Someone hand me a blowtorch!” Leah joins us in Paradise and nobody in the audience knows…

Bachelor in paradise week 1: the land of misfit toys

  What…the…actual…F It’s like the land of misfit toys but with humans and actual emotions. Better yet, it’s like the Hunger Games because if you don’t get picked, you are basically dead as a reality tv star. This is very possibly the most amazing thing I have ever seen. In the history of television, there…

A Broken Heart & A Ring No One Paid For : The Final Rose

I love the whole “Live” rose ceremony with the dramatic audience being instructed when to “ooooo” and when to clap. Talk about authentic, huh? Plus, they will evidently use any excuse to bring Chad and his security guard back in to a dicey situation. As for Ben and Lauren from the previous season in the…