First and foremost, I spoke too soon about the RIP of BIP. Turns out the investigation is over and Corrine is looking more and more like a BF liar. YIKES. I’m not a fan of Demari-NO but it looks like he’s in the clear. Filming is restarting but Corrine is not invited.
But is no one going to identify the fact that her BOYFRIEND is vouching for her character to the media… so… wait, wait, wait… is the third wall finally breaking? Are we seeing how fake it all is? Why would they invite her to paradise if she has a public boyfriend? And why wouldn’t this guy not have enough self respect to at least pull what Demari-Nos ex did? Ugh, people… ammiright?
Time to move on to this week’s journey to the land of broken hearts…
Lee & Kenny get in to it and it gets heatedddddd…. I’ve been a fan of Pretty Boy Pitbull (not of his ugly choice of ties…but of him in general). But he’s getting angry like the hulk in line for a Cronut… RED FLAG. Lee is a walking talking red flag with that shiny skin and frat boy hair though so can we just get them both outta here and move on?
Dean decides to call out Lee in a very real way. And it’s not funny but HOLY BANANAS, BATMAN. Shit’s getting real up in here.
Dean on Lee: “He’s only picking fights with people who are culturally different than him…you know what I mean by that…his ignorance will come out.”
Who knew Dean had it in him? He looks like one of the contestant’s baby brother’s that had to tag along because their mom is out of town. Does the mansion do babysitting?
Bryan and Rachel have a real moment that is either straight out of the Notebook or from “Beginners Guide to Being a Master F–kboy”. Any guy THAT smooth has had practice and a horrendous fear of commitment due to childhood trauma. I’m sorry, too real? Am I sounding too smart? Um….
Better? Am I relatable again? Okay, let’s move on…
Rachel is super annoyed that her men are acting like boys and that Kenny and Lee were fighting so Chris Harrison swoops in to let Rachel know he can do whatever he wants. WE KNOW, DUDE, WE KNOW…
Just when we think that maybe something new and dramatic will happen, Chris Harrison enters to let us know that she is going to….. wait for it….. SKIP THE COCKTAIL PARTY!!!
The group heads to Hilton Head and Eric tells us how beautiful the suites at the Sonesta Resort are in a totally not #ad #sponsored way… haha… jk, it was obvi.
One on one with Dean to face his fears as the producers typically orchestrate. They have a picnic on the hood of a car (as one does) and then a blimp comes to pick them up (as one does). Turns out Dean is terrified of heights…. but only for like 45 seconds before he is offered the opportunity to fly it. Take that air time, Dean! You’re on TV for a reason! Right reason? Who cares.. reasons are reasons.
Dean: “What would I have to do to crash this thing and ruin us all?”
Pilot: ” Who TF let this guy behind the wheel? Shouldn’t he be at his high school assembly?”
They end with a concert…. shocking.
Group Date… and easily the weirdest I’ve seen in seasons. Peter raps about Rachel being from the hood and everyone is uncomfortable. The guys rap and then move on to a spelling bee. I can’t put my finger on the insinuation of racial insensitivity but I feel like if we dig deep enough, we will find the inadvertent notes of incorrectness. Too smart again?
DOOKIE BOOTY. Ok I’m relatable again.
Turns out NONE of these guys can spell. I guess that’s why we have professionals like “aspiring drummer” for these bros. But seriously… you can’t spell ‘boudoir’? Ok, I’ll let it slide. But CHAMPAGNE???? COME ON, KENNY. How did you make it this far in life? Not a lot of college scholarships in this room, folks.
Peter spells coitus with a q and my heart drops?
Why does Rachel want to make out with Eric? He spelled ‘facade’ PHYSDE???
And does Josiah have a muzzle?