Nama-not-gonna-stay, Dean: Week 7 Recap

I don’t think these hometowns could have been more painful if they had actually casted it. Like… how on earth did they find these people? This brings me back to the national treasure that is Jojo’s mom.. Eric takes Rachel on a hometown but producers try not to pan out far enough that you can…

Time for scrunchies & DeMari-No to go: Week 2 Recap

Let’s jump right to the fact that Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis show up to provide some assistance while casually making fun of the guys as they go through a “Husband Material Obstacle Course”. Before they even start, Ashton meets Lucas, experiences the Whaboom, and hopefully immediately made a call to his agent to ask…

The Bachelorette Begins: It’s All V Necks and Down Hill From Here

HOLY CANNOLI it’s finally time. Time again to watch a smart, beautiful, sophisticated woman hopefully not disappoint us all by picking a douche bag in a v neck t shirt with a headshot that would make Glamour Shots proud. But honestly, please see exhibits 1-6 below and note the use of the High School Portrait…

Evidently it’s not so Raven: Week 10 & the Final Rose

Ew. 3 hours? I will say that even though this is the longest episode this season – and of all time… this will be the shortest blog. Because we already know Rachel is leaving soooooo the suspense is a bit lost, don’t ya think? Anywho. We start this episode with a cheesy montage of Raven…

Bored, Bloated, and the new Bachelorette: Week 6 & 7 Recap

I hate to say “I told you so” but – Wait. No I don’t! I LOVE f–king saying “I told you so”!! Rachel is our new bachelorette and I”m feeling the feels. I remember wanting Sharleen Joynt from Juan’s season to be the bachelorette but it turns out she was way too smart and successful…

Corrine’s guide to not shoveling poopie: Weeks 4 & 5 Recaps

So I’m grouping together weeks 4 and 5 for this recap. Why? Because I’m busy – back off. But also – because it’s been boring AF and every time I go to write it, I fall asleep on the keyboard. Sort of a snoozefest this season, don’t ya think? Let’s just try and get through…

I saw you ride her : Week 3 Recap

I have so many mixed emotions right now about Nick turning a hard left in to “typical bro-ville”. I love that he’s treating this season like a live action Tinder date. Swipe swipe swipe…. Let’s start with the end of the cocktail party where he tells all the ladies that he had sex with Liz.┬áCut…

XOXO Gossip Girl: Week 2 Recap

Nick picks the A squad for his first group date. “Always a bridesmaid” is their clue. How cliche. Nick is really squeezing all the juice out of his whole “runner up” act, ammiright? Rachel wants to continue to make first impressions with him so I can only assume they didn’t teach her in law school…

That’s dolphinately a shark costume: Week 1 Recap

The moment we’ve all been waiting for has finally arrived!┬áNick V is like the RA in the Bachelor Nation dorm – the Van Wilder of the franchise – the long lost son of Chris Harrison. And he’s back, for the 27347 time to try and find love. This is it. No really…this is it –…