Bachelor in paradise week 1: the land of misfit toys

  What…the…actual…F It’s like the land of misfit toys but with humans and actual emotions. Better yet, it’s like the Hunger Games because if you don’t get picked, you are basically dead as a reality tv star. This is very possibly the most amazing thing I have ever seen. In the history of television, there…

Chad’s Gone. Now What?: Week 4 Recap

The theme of this episode is : SERIOUSLY, THESE GUYS MUST BE INSANELY BORED First they spread the ashes of Chad’s protein powder after throwing a party to celebrate him leaving. I can’t believe Chad even left any powder behind! Isn’t that like his fairy douche┬ádust or something? Then Chad shows up to the house…

“Pigs are in the castle”: Week 3 Part 2 Recap

…..so Chad looks exactly like a shiny roided-out GI Joe. Also, he has decided this is the episode where he will refuse to wear a shirt. And these twine & beaded neckalce mics don’t look good on ANYONE. I’m telling you… pookah shells need to happen. I NEED JOJO’S WARDROBE. PERIOD. Chad apologizes to the…

Someone called security: Week 3 Part 1 Recap

Ew. Why are Chad’s leftover meat plates sitting out and the trees are still teepeed? This isn’t the Jersey Shore. Where’s the maid for this show? I know that Alex, aka mini marine, is the ‘good guy’ here but he’s really starting to annoy me. He’s like the little guy in the crowd jumping up…

Fire Hoes: Week 2 Recap

What day is it? What time is it? Do the producers let these guys sleep? “Cheers to a beautiful girl and a beautiful life, f–k you guys imma make her my wife” – thus the eloquence of the Chad is upon us. We start with a group date…. “a hot date”. Whomp whomp – so…

Let’s Talk About the Jojo Show

If she wasn’t one of your favorites during Ben’s season, then something is wrong with you. I literally found myself imagining drinking wine and laughing with our favorite perky pair of cha chas because I truly think we would totes be besties. So if anyone like KNOWS her knows her, get me the digits! From…