Creepy dolls, litigator alligators, and one big fat WHABOOM: Week 1 Recap

Chris Harrison introduces himself in an incredibly unnecessary moment. Because we know. Chris…we know. He flashes us back to her ‘romance’ with Nick where he pretended that she wasn’t WAY too good for him. Rachel intros herself as ‘sweet sour sassy but classy’. Poet or lawyer? Producers stage a few opportunities for Rachel to prove…

The Bachelorette Begins: It’s All V Necks and Down Hill From Here

HOLY CANNOLI it’s finally time. Time again to watch a smart, beautiful, sophisticated woman hopefully not disappoint us all by picking a douche bag in a v neck t shirt with a headshot that would make Glamour Shots proud. But honestly, please see exhibits 1-6 below and note the use of the High School Portrait…

XOXO Gossip Girl: Week 2 Recap

Nick picks the A squad for his first group date. “Always a bridesmaid” is their clue. How cliche. Nick is really squeezing all the juice out of his whole “runner up” act, ammiright? Rachel wants to continue to make first impressions with him so I can only assume they didn’t teach her in law school…

Nick V’s Ladies: Revealed

Well, well, well…. we meet again, Bachelor Nation. I’m back back back at it and excited to sprinkle my opinions all over your brain cookies again this season. It’s finally 2017! Time for all that “New Year, new me BS”. And most importantly, time for a new season! Get off that treadmill and grab some…